Some stories don't have a moral or a mirror. They're just strange, and fun. This is one of them.
A wax figure just appeared in a park in San Antonio, nobody explained it, and an entire police department decided the correct response was to give him a job.
The Wax Officer on Bicycle Duty
Guard of Bicycle 'Morgue' Melting Away in Police Building Basement" — The News, July 30 1926
A visitor named Miss Louise Morris was introduced to a police guard at San Antonio headquarters and asked if he wasn't worried about melting in the heat. Fair question, since the guard, named Mike Doe, is a wax mannequin, not a person.
He'd been stationed in the basement watching over the "morgue" of unclaimed stolen bicycles for two years by the time this ran. And here's the part that never got resolved: two years earlier, he'd simply turned up in Brackenridge Park, in what the paper called a muddled condition, with no explanation for how he got there or who left him. Nobody ever solved it. The department's response was purely practical, they put him to work earning his keep at headquarters, and there he stayed.
The paper couldn't resist one joke at the end, suggesting he might be a relative of the famous John Doe. Given the rest of the story, that might be the least mysterious thing about him.
Here’s the full copy:
"AREN'T you about to melt down here?" asked Miss Louise Morris when she was introduced to Mike Doe, the only guard at the "morgue" of unclaimed stolen bicycles in the basement of police headquarters.
Mike made no reply, but it was evident that his heart was softened by the solicitude of Miss Morris. In fact, he looked a little softened all over—for Mike is just a wax officer.
He is one of the unsolved mysteries of the police department. Two years ago he was found in Brackenridge Park, in a somewhat muddled condition. He was never able to explain his predicament. Since then he has been working for his "keep" at headquarters. It has been suggested that he may be a relative of the famous John Doe.
I looked for any follow-up on Mike Doe and came up empty, if anyone ever did figure out his origin, it didn't make the papers I can find. Genuinely an open case.
See you tomorrow. – Chris
Sources
The News, July 30, 1926